So we've been in our house for 7 months now. I finally feel like I am starting to belong. And I think so are my kids. But it has been slow. Even though I only moved 10 minutes away, that 10 minutes meant new a new neighborhood, new neighbors, new schools and a semi-new church (we knew a handful of people at church already). And we know lots of people across the neighborhood, but in my little section of our neighborhood we really didn't know anyone.
So the little girls (who I think I'm going to have to come up with some other term for because they just turned 8 and they really are not babies) have probably had the easiest adjustment. They have each made a handful of new friends. They do talk about missing their old school, but I think their new one is just as good.
The older girls started middle school and barely knew anyone. Now THAT was hard. I knew it would be. All the girls from the 3 feeding elementary schools really stuck together with the kids they already knew, and so it's been hard for my girls. And then there was some girl drama that we had to deal with too, which I won't go into but made it even harder, particularly for one of mine. But at the same time they have slowly been getting to know people and have made some friends that they seem happy with and enjoy being around. It does make me wonder if the "click'y" girls' walls will ever come down. I'm sure for some it will. For others they will probably always remain that way.
And then there's me. I, too, have had my adjustments. I haven't gotten to know many people at church yet, even though I've MET lots of people, because I've been teaching primary (again) for the last 6 months. Though I've just been asked to work in the women's activity committee and already I am getting to know more people.
I have volunteered a little at the elementary school, and around November I noticed that the lady at the front desk knew who I was. That felt good. It started giving me a sense of belonging.
But in the neighborhood, well, it's been a bit daunting. I have met several around me and on my street that are all very nice and easy to talk to. Not too many on my street with kids the same age. We talk here and there.
And then there is the bus stop. That's where MOST of the elementary kids get off - like 20 kids at one stop. So it's been a great way to get to know people. And everyone's very nice. But I will be honest - for the first time in a very long time, I have felt pretty intimidated! We moved from what is basically
a sister neighborhood, developed by the same company. In my old neighborhood though, it was very diverse with many people from many different countries. Talk about a melting pot! But I also felt like it was so easy to be me. In my new neighborhood, where I have more in common with people around me, it is also a bit more keep up with the Joneses. I knew it was and I've never been one to really care, but I find myself caring. Caring in the sense that I wonder how others are perceiving me because I don't wear designer sunglasses (guess what I got for Christmas), I'm in my on it's last leg mini-van that probably only has another year to go, and I don't get my nails done. I have no problem with these things, but I don't really get into them.
So I feel a bit like I'm trying to fit in with the popular moms. But the truth is, I bet they don't care or even notice. At least most of them. So it's me and my own insecurities. It has made me feel a bit like I'm in high school. Maybe it's because a lot of people FROM my high school live out here! (NOT the reason we moved over!) But seriously, it's me. I think as I get to know them better and develop genuine friendships that those things will slowly melt away.
But it's funny what change can do to you. Being the new girl on the block is always tough. It's exciting though, too. I needed a change in my life. I don't regret my decision at all. And it's good to stretch and grow. I really didn't like the prospect of staying where I was for 10+ more years while all my kids went through school. I felt like I would always wonder how it would have been different if we had done something different. So we did. And we live in this gorgeous, wooded neighborhood that is hard to find in the suburbs. So glad for our decision! Here's to stretching and growing and doing something new!
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