It's All Relative

When my oldest twins were about a year old, I had just spent what was the hardest year of my life. I never wanted to relive it (funny how God has a sense of humor!). I remember during that first year how often Mike and I would say, “Can you imagine how easy it would be if we only had one baby?” You really COULD sleep when the baby sleeps. You could sleep train the baby to cry it out without a never-ending hysterical crying cycle. I honestly could go on and on but that is the question we often asked.

Then I met a mom of triplets when they were a year old. We swapped stories about our husbands and how we needed them to do more, way more. (In all fairness most husbands do not have the demands placed on them that dads of multiples have. When there is more than one baby, dad MUST step up or the mother could actually die of exhaustion.) But she told me that she hoped I wouldn’t be offended, but that she and her husband used to say all the time, “Can you imagine how easy it would be if we only had twins?” I was not at all offended. It hit me like a ton of bricks. To them, how great to have one baby per adult! One baby per hand. And I’m sure the parents of quads think it would be easy to have triplets and so on and so on. And I really do think being the new mom of a singleton (that’s what we in the multiples world call only one baby) is a huge adjustment for anybody. Because before that one baby that mother was an independent person. But they are looking at those of us with multiples, saying “I don’t know how you do it.” I hear that comment a lot. My answer is often “I don’t either,” followed by a laugh. But honestly, I have no choice so I do what I have to. But I understand they have parenting challenges too.

So why am I writing about this today? Thanks to my blog I’ve gotten hooked up with some other moms of Multiple Multiples! What fun since I’m the only one in my local multiples club! Apparently there are several in the new group who not only have two sets of twins or more plus other children, but about 3 or 4 whose 2 sets were born less than 12 months apart! That makes my head spin! I would not have survived. These women are amazing! I don’t even have to know them to know they are amazing! Once again reminded that it’s all relative.

So today has been a good day, in spite of the fact that 3 of my 4 kiddos seem to be sick with something. It’s funny – I often tend to focus on the negatives of raising twins, the hard parts. It’s really not because I’m negative. I think the things I do are often ridiculous and hilarious and I like to share them. It helps me cope. But I realize it may not always be perceived that way. The truth is I will never forget those years of wanting a baby, not knowing if it would ever happen. I am amazed at what I have been blessed with! And they are all healthy, and I have loving parents and in-laws to help. So I shouldn’t complain too much. But I do like to find the humor in it all, and will continue to share it with those who might, just might, find it interesting.