Bye Bye Baby

Are you ever surprised by your own emotions? I love my kids of course, but it usually takes a lot for me to get all weepy about things (except children singing makes me tear up almost immediately). I’ve never been sad taking my kids on the first day of school. I have been excited, for them AND for me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm bad mom because I’m not crying to send them off? But I already know the answer to that – of course not! And I know I’m not the only one. It is good for ALL of us. So when the little girls started preschool a few weeks ago, I saw a mom wiping the tears from her eyes as she left the room. My heart truly hurt for her. And yet I was grinning from ear to ear! I’m sure it has something to do with having my babies two at a time and just wanting a LITTLE balance in my life. I know full well I’m going to see them again in just a few hours!

Anyway, so this week I am clearing out the stuff for our twin club’s big garage sale. I’ve slowly been selling a little here and there. Already got rid of the high chairs and a few other things. The little things don’t get to me. But I’m getting a little sad. I have no desire to have another baby, but I don’t know if I can say good-bye to all their little baby things. It also scares me! The bigger the item, the scarier it is! I am truly afraid to get rid of the cribs and the furniture. You know, as luck would have it, we spent years undergoing fertility treatments but the day we get rid of the baby stuff…bingo! It’s just like having twins twice. I just had this feeling either we would have no more the second time around or we would have twins again. Because life just works that way.

So I’m slowly collecting stuff and putting it in my closet so I can tag it for this weekend. The bouncers were sitting on my bathroom floor and Reagan turned them on, and there I am in the shower having a flashback of all the many, many showers I took while my babies slept or played right there in those bouncers. I LOVED the bouncers! With the second set we actually had 3 plus a portable swing and those things went all around the house with me. Heck, Ashley & Mackenzie slept many a night in their bouncers! I figured, if they were happy to sleep there and not the crib, just let ‘em sleep! Except when Ashley woke up in the night and flipped the whole thing over. That was the end of that, but it was a big help with her reflux.

So there it is. I’m not really a baby person. I might have been, had it been easier. But it was doubly hard. I cringe a little when I think about someone having a new baby. Is that terrible? Don’t get me wrong – I’m happy for them, but to think of all the feedings, night wakings, lack of sleep and overall major change in lifestyle, it’s not something that makes me want another. I love the 4 I’ve got! But I’m glad all that is nearly behind me. That’s why it’s strange when these emotions pop up. I don’t know if I’m ready to get rid of everything, even if we have no intention of using them anymore. There’s some kind of strange peace and security in knowing all those precious things are there. (I think this is maybe how hoarders start out…if you see me on TV in 10 years, you know what happened. Just kidding. I don’t have hoarding tendencies.)

But to hang onto so much stuff doesn’t make any sense:

Bye-bye bouncers

Bye-bye cribs (big girl beds coming Friday)

Bye-bye Noah’s Ark/Safari Animal nursery

Bye-bye precious Halloween costumes, cutest pumpkins ever

Bye-bye exersaucer

Bye-bye baby bathtub

Bye-bye other baby stuff

Bye-bye baby teeth (first one is on its way out as there is already a permanent one coming through behind it. THIS makes me sad – I love their baby teeth and their whole face changes once the big teeth come through.)

Bye-bye babyhood.

On a side note: while I was typing this, Reagan got busy playing in the bouncers.

Then I couldn't find her OR the bouncer, until I came upon this:

And of course then Ashley had to get in on it.

I need these things gone NOW before they snap in two!