Last weekend I went to a bachelorette party. It was really a lingerie shower, at night, and we went out. If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck....
So truth be told I was nervous to go. It was for an old college friend, who was actually one of my bridesmaids. A once dear friend but since college our lives have taken two very different paths. Hers is one of career and I did the get married have kids thing. Even though we live in the same city between my kids and her high-powered job, we couldn't meet, even for lunch. So I felt funny going to the shower. Not because of her but because I didn't know anyone else going and didn't know if this was going to be one of those raunchy bachelorette parties that I have NO desire to attend.
Nonetheless, since she's getting married in Hawaii and this is the only local event she's having, I knew I needed to go and celebrate with her. After all, she's waited a long time for this day! The invitation said to bring money for cabfare. So I was also worried about going out with these ladies and NOT wanting to drive my mini-van to the local hotspots alone but also not wanting to be stuck in cabs and staying out all night when I have 4 kids to get to church at 9am the next morning.
So first I drove downtown to some gal's loft apartment. They were all sitting around by the pool. It actually turned out great! My friend had great friends! I should have known. She told them too - none of that raunchy stuff. It was nice and tasteful and we had a good time. I was the ONLY married person there, let alone a mom. Sometimes it was funny - they would reference stuff in pop culture (which I thought I had caught up on finally) that I had no clue what they were talking about. Then something they said reminded me of a Desperate Housewives episode. When I asked if any of them watched it, not a single one DID! But that's a widely popular show! You don't have to be married with kids to find it funny! And yet I realized how I lived in an alternate universe from these women.
But they were great women. All educated, working hard, suffering through the dating scene. So we went to some bar afterward. I couldn't help but laugh when we walked in. First of all, all of us were way too old to be at this place. All 20-somethings. My friend looked at me and said "Don't they all just look so young and stupid?" She really put my exact thoughts into words. And before you get mad at me, understand what we meant. They're not stupid. That was even her next comment and I agreed. But they were inexperienced in life. Most of them probably. They were all caught up in having a good time, and you got the sense that every Friday and Saturday night that's what they did. I remember those days too. They were fun. And that's just it - they have NO idea what us 30 and 40-somethings (and young mothers too) live like. They are naive - ignorance is bliss. I miss being ignorant sometimes. But also there is a void they are trying to fill that most of us no longer have.
So it was fun. I haven't been out to a place like that in probably a decade. Crazy! And I'm happy for my friend! Too bad I can't get away to make it to her Hawaiian wedding. Sigh - it's on the list of places to go. We were going to go for our 10-year anniversary. Except we had two 4-yr-olds and two 1-yr-olds at the time. Not exactly easy to leave for a week!
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