The big girls got really busy one night and kept taking all the computer paper. (Side note: It doesn't matter how many paper pads I give them, I can't keep them out of the computer paper. It's like they know they have a never-ending paper stash, no matter how many times I tell them to use it sparingly.) So they were making telescopes out of paper. They had used up all the tape (again) and were now resorting to using stickers to tape them together. Then they made a sign that said "Kids Toy Play Telescopes for Sale...$4" or something like that. I thought, well that's cute. They're having fun playing store.
I had to make them stop to go to bed so the next morning they literally bounded up and ran into the office and told me they needed more paper. More? Why?? I asked them what for and they said to make more telescopes. So naturally I asked how many they already had. 12 was the answer and they said it was not enough. I'm thinking, 12 is plenty! So that's what I told them. Then the whining started. "But it's not enough.....we need more....." So I'm telling them they're wasting our paper and again, "12 is plenty!" They don't agree so I asked them to name 12 people that are going to buy their telescopes. I'm completely thinking family members at this point and thought they MIGHT be able to come up with 12 if they included everybody.
But instead of naming family members, they just stared at me with this blank look. And then I was speechless. What was I not getting about their game? What are they not getting about us not needing any more telescopes? I asked again, "Who are you going to sell these to?" They very carefully and a little shyly said "people driving by." Oh my gosh. This was what they were doing? I had no idea! They wanted to put their sign in the yard and charge people $4 for a rolled up piece of paper. Now, we can all get a big laugh at the price but it broke my heart to tell them that just wasn't going to work. Mackenzie's lip started quivering and her eyes starting tearing. Kaitlyn frowned her whole face and started this stomping, gyrating, tantrum thing. And I could just feel their tremendous disappointment, and in their eyes, I was the reason. I finally told them they could stick the sign out if they wanted but that I wouldn't be opening the door for any strangers. I guess I had already shattered their dream because they didn't go for it. I suggested that we do a lemonade stand this summer, and even that idea took a few days to warm up to.
So there I was, the dream killer for my own daughters. Never did I think that would be me. I am always the one that says to go for it! I believe anybody can have their dream if they're willing to work hard enough for it. And I want to teach that to my girls, not squash their hopes and ideas! But come on now, we do have to be a bit realistic here.
The whole thing took me back to my own childhood. My step-siblings lived about 10 minutes away and every Saturday night my step-dad would go pick them up and drive them home on Sunday. In the summer he picked them up every single morning and then took us all to swim team and to play at the pool all day and then he'd take them back home in the evening. Well, when I was about 9 or 10 years old, my step-sister Missy and I came up with a GREAT idea! They were building patio homes right across the street from my house and we just thought it would be the greatest thing in the world if her mom (my step-dad's ex-wife) moved into one of those houses. How perfect! Then he wouldn't have to do all that driving anymore! So we went to them with our idea. Shot down instantly! I don't think they even really listened to it. We were SO disappointed. How could they not see what we saw? What isn't great about living across the street from your ex-wife? But they didn't even listen.
So now I'm a mom and will soon find myself standing out in the heat with lemonade and my little girls. I'd like to be optimistic but we're not in a real good spot for that. Oh well, for the sake of chasing dreams, we will try!
I really got tears in my eyes when I read about Mackenzie tearing up. It is just amazing how much weight our words carry in their little world. Even as a teenager I remember how much hurt I felt when my parents said something critical of me.
ReplyDeleteI think it awesome your kids had the initiative to put this together, even if they made not one single sale.
I've recently experienced the same thing. We were at the park and Bella kept insisting on trying the one set of monkey bars that were just out of her reach and I kept saying, "You won't be able to do it. Don't even bother trying". She burst into tears and then hit it me how cruel that was to tell her she couldn't do it. She wanted to try and even if she did fail, at least she had made the effort. It hit me like a ton of bricks!
ReplyDeleteIn moments like that we have NO idea how a few simple words can make their whole world come crashing down. We often forget that they have such vivid imaginations and we tend to focus on the realistic side of things.
Live and learn, right? We're only human and bound to make mistakes. But at least we come clean with ourselves and vow to be more careful next time!
BTW, I loved your comment in my TMC post from yesterday. I'm in the process of writing about my IF experience but it's been 2 years in the making and sometimes it feels like I'll never finish it. And yes we are so very lucky, aren't we? Did you ever imagine in a million years we'd end up with 4 kids, sent in pairs??
My mom likes to tell me and my siblings, "You kids turned out good despite me." Which is silly cause she is a big reason we turned out good, but she is just trying to prove to us that our kids will still turn out fine if we just do our best.
ReplyDeleteToo bad we don't live closer, then you could call us up to come buy telescopes on days like these.