Twin Challenge #10: Sleeping in the Same Room

Oh boy. I should write a book on this subject alone. (Warning: This is kind of a long post!)

It’s interesting. Some people say their twins sleep better in the same room, others say it’s a nightmare. Bet you can’t guess which one it was for us! If you said my twins slept better in the same room…..wrong-o! It was an utter nightmare.

When the first set came along, of course I put them in the same room. Who makes 2 nurseries? And I was too ignorant to know any better. But my older girls were not good sleepers. I honestly shutter to really go back and remember what it was like. They would feed off each other. It didn’t matter so much when they were little newborns (not that they were sleeping then, but they seemed relatively oblivious to the other making any noise), but around 5 or 6 months it all changed.

Not only would they wake each other in the night, which would then turn into an hour-long hysterical crying-fest, but putting them down was impossible. There was no crying it out because they would just keep crying. Often screaming. It was terrible. I was racked with guilt. Just as one was nearly all cried out and settling down (after 30 minutes or so of hysterical crying), the other would start up again and there they’d go. I’m getting sick to my stomach just thinking about it. And this was every night. And then if one woke in the night, there they’d go again.

I love my husband but nurturing a crying baby just ain’t is forte. So it was mostly all me. And me is what they wanted anyway. They had total control over me. I would jump up and run at the drop of a hat, in effort to keep one quiet before the other awoke. But then try to lower them back into the crib and those little eyes would pop open, and once again, there they’d go.

Then we went through a very long phase where Mike would do Mackenzie’s last feeding while I did Kaitlyn’s. He’d go put her down. She’d cry it out, sometimes it would take 10 minutes, sometimes 40. And guess what I’d be doing? Pacing around the house with Kaitlyn until Mackenzie was SO sound asleep that she would not awake for Kaitlyn to then have her turn at a little crying it out. Kaitlyn would cry if I sat with her too. On my feet is how she wanted it and she would have no other way.

I’d thought about moving one of the beds to another room, but I just hated that idea. That meant one got the cute nursery right next to my bedroom, and the other was banished to some other room on the other side of the house. I couldn’t do it.

But when they were 14 months old, we moved to a new house. I decided that would be the time to try splitting them up. The new designated “Nursery” didn’t have any cute paint in it. The walls were the same beige as they were in the guest room. And the guest room is very colorful too. So we made the switch. Put Mackenzie in the guest room. Can I just tell you how much my quality of life improved after only about 3 days? All that insanity was pretty much over! I put them each in their own rooms, closed the door, and walked away! You know, like most mothers do! I just added hours back into my day, every day! How could I have been so dumb? But I had my reasons.

They remained separate until they started climbing out of their cribs a year later. We put both cribs in the guest room and took down the rails so they could come and go as they pleased. We put them back together because we knew we were trying to have another baby and that seemed to make the most sense. Until I spent every night for nearly 2 months playing all kinds of games with them, mostly musical beds, and ultimately lots of yelling at them. It was a free-for-all! I think Kaitlyn would have stayed put, but then Mackenzie would move to another spot so Kaitlyn would follow. Mackenzie didn’t like her following so she’d move again. Kaitlyn would follow. Again and again. Every night.

I finally once again decided to separate them when the big girl beds came. I was done. Had it. Everything was smooth again. And that’s how I left it until sometime after they turned 3 and I was expecting again. Luckily, third time was a charm. I knew for sure I had to put them back together, because I was having twins again and needed my 2 other bedrooms because there would be no question, I would be separating the new babies.

And so it has been from the beginning of the second set. Separation. That is why we don’t travel with them. They spent one night in the same room during Hurricane Ike. It didn’t go very well. So this summer, at age 2 1/2, we finally took them on a few vacations. Guess what? Total free-for-all! It was kind of funny, and yet kind of unnerving after an hour of ridiculous shenanigans. I was really glad to get back home, put them in their separate quarters, and confine them to their cribs.

So why am I writing about this now? The big girl beds came last week. Ashley had been really happy sleeping on the guest bed for about a month, but now that the new big girl beds are here, she is aware that even though both beds are in Reagan’s room, that one of them is actually hers. And it’s cute. And just her size. She WANTS to sleep in there. So we’ve been giving it a try. The free-for-all is back. But I’ve been at least a little bit stern. I let her try it, but if they don’t go to sleep after a certain period of time, it’s back to the guest room she goes.

It’s going OKAY. I’ll just leave it at that.

I’ve waited a long time to write about this, mainly because this is the first time since I’ve started blogging, that I’ve really had to deal with this issue. I am sure if I had blogged back then, I would have had many entries venting my frustrations with it all. Except that I was too tired to keep a blog. I was just surviving.