Lots of things. But mostly poop.
When I first started blogging I wrote down all the gross things I've come across since becoming a mom, but I never posted it. I found it today, so today's your lucky day! If you have a weak stomach you might want to skip this one.
The down and dirty:
1. Kids coughing germs all over birthday cake that we all have to then eat with a fake smile that conceals our fear of what has just been spewed over what we're about to put in our mouths.
2. Finding clothes with spit up all over them that's been dried on for a week.
3. Smelling like spit up for an entire year.
4. Not showering for three days.
5. The funk that lives under high chair and car seat covers. It's a miracle things don't start growing under there.
6. When kids take off their poopy diapers or underpants on their own, and the poop falls on the floor.
7. When a baby grabs the still open, poopy diaper and flings it across the room.
8. Poop in a crib.
9. Poop on the wall.
10. When you're making dinner (or preparing food in any way), you are interrupted to change the nastiest diaper or wipe a dirty butt, and then go back to making dinner.
11. When there's no changing table and you have to lay your kid down on a disgusting, dirty, hard bathroom floor that has no telling how much pee splattered all over it.
12. When your kid wants to see the poop in the potty or the throw-up and describe what's in it.
13. When your kid looks at poop in the potty and says, "ooohhhh....it looks like a carrot!" They are so pleased. :)
14. When your kid pulls chewed up food out of their mouth.
15. When you realize your kid has been done with dinner for 20 minutes but you realize they are still chewing their last bite of food.
16. When you find a plastic pumpkin that was filled with plastic food has now been thrown up in.
And the grossest thing I have come across that I can at least remember is.......
17. Finding a dead, wet, soggy, bloated lizard in the washing machine that must have made it home in someone's pocket.
And yes, I do have all girls.
Eeeewwwwwww!!! Yet I'm sitting here laughing hysterically because it sounds so much like my house.
ReplyDeleteMy boys have actually been SO proud of their poops that they have refused to flush the toilet until Tim comes home from work to admire it. I've actually taken pics and e-mailed them to him so I can get them to flush the toilet.
Another reason to be glad you have all girls....boys' fingernails are always disgusting!! I can clip them one day and they're all clean but by the next day, they have all kinds of black gunk under their nails. When I ask them what the black stuff is, I get a shoulder shrug followed by, "Probably dirt...and poop". Makes me wanna run for the hills, I tell ya.