Well, the good news is that now that my younger girls are 3, I am finding it overall easier to get some things done. Dinner isn't always impossible. My kitchen counters, though still a mess, are a lot less of a mess than they used to be. Consistently better, so that's a good sign. I'm slowly putting things together in my house.
So what is my problem? I am finding that as life is starting to get more "normal" again, I don't really know what to do with myself anymore. I am finding that I don't know how to make good use of big blocks of time because I am not used to having them. I have plenty of clothes/buttons to mend. I have the big girls' book lists that haven't been updated since Christmas (I probably have to write down 100+ books). I have the never ending clutter to get through. I have a playroom that looks like a tornado went through it. I could go on. But the only things I really end up doing are still coming on and getting on the computer to do whatever.
Before, that was all I really had time for, because I only had short spurts, so the computer served me well. But now it's like I'm frozen at times. I need to start making better use of their playtime when they're NOT pulling on me for every little thing. I just don't really know where to begin. I guess because none of it's stuff I'm all too excited about. But still, it would make me happy to take care of such loose ends.
I mean, I HAVE been doing stuff. Got the taxes done. Hung some stuff up on the walls last week. So I am. It's the mundane stuff that I sometimes now CAN do that I now have to MAKE myself do. I don't have as much excuse anymore.
The other thing I have noticed, is when I am somewhere like a family gathering, depending on where IT is, sometimes I am more free. My kids don't have to be worried about every single second. So all the women jump in and help in the kitchen or whatever, and it doesn't occur to me to do that. I just sit and then I realize there is stuff to be done and others are doing it and I better get up and help. But for 7 years I really haven't been able to. So I don't even notice anymore when there are things to be done. I am just used to taking care of my kids because that was all I could do. Tunnel vision.
So, those are my deep thoughts. I'm learning how to be a regular person again. And yes, I think having two sets of twins has made me a non-regular person. I think anyone who has had a set of multiples knows exactly what I'm talking about.
It reminds me of our church missionaries. After 2 years of serving the Lord, with no outside conversation, no TV, etc, they come home and have to re-enter the world. That is me. I'm re-entering the world. It's a good change, but I am adjusting.
It is hard having twins, much less TWO sets, like you! My sister has twins, they are 19 months old and she has a 6 yr old and a 3 yr old, so she is always busy, running after one twin or the other. She won't return to a normal life for another year, I am thinking. It takes time to adjust to any situation, so just give yourself time!
ReplyDeleteAs for the sandbox on my blog, oh sometimes I wish we never got it and then other times, they are happy and content and they don't throw sand. so it is a bitter sweet thing, if you ask me. and yes, I make them get totally naked before coming in the house to have a bath!