This is a BIG one. And what really caused me to write about this was writing about their field trip which made me think about how chaperoning field trips is a bit difficult when your twins are in a different class at school. Sometimes they go together but other times don't. Ultimately I'm assigned to one class. They will let me take the one from the other class with me which my big girls decided after the second time of doing that that they would prefer I just alternate and they stay with their own class. So that is often what I do but the younger ones are still taking turns coming with the other's class.
So that is the challenge as it relates to field trips. But in general, separating them in school is a big issue for parents of multiples. Many states about 10 years ago were starting to pass laws after twin parents got active around the country, stating that parents have the ultimate right to say whether their twins should be separated or stay together. Texas is one of those states.
Now, in my opinion as well as the opinion of nearly all educators, I would think that twins are better off separated. HOWEVER, I agree with the law giving the parents the final say. I do know some who keep their twins together because they say it is easier on themselves. I hope that is not the only reason. But I think if the twins want to stay together and have no problem making other friends and are no problem in the classroom, then why force them into separate classes?
I for one definitely wanted mine separated for their own good. Plus I think in an academic environment that being compared to each other would not be a good thing. Plus my girls are around each other enough. They need a break. My older girls would probably kill each other in the same class.
But it does present some unique problems. Birthday parties where a whole class gets invited was difficult when they were younger because they really just couldn't understand. Chaperoning field trips of course - weird to see your mom chaperoning at your field trip but she's with your sister doing things elsewhere while you're with some other mom. Room mom!! So far I have been alternating being room mom for my bigs. But who goes first - hard one to explain. I think the first one was which teacher needed me more and I have alternated ever since. I will try that with my littles beginning next year. Trying to make it all even out but I am always trying to get my twins to understand that there lives are not going to be even at every given moment, but that in the end it will all even out. Instead of being mad they can be happy for their twin when good things happen.
Homework and parent conferences - of course it's a bit harder to have different teachers and slightly different homework but so far at our elementary school their homework is almost the same as they all work from the same curriculum, and years where they have a morning teacher and afternoon teacher, the school will put mine into the same teacher set, just alternating mornings and afternoons so I still only deal with the same two teachers. Our school is very flexible when working with twins!
Oh, and when I go have lunch at the school, they let me sit with either class and it's no problem for the other twin to join us and leave her class. I'm happy for a wonderful school that is flexible and cares about parents and families.
So for me separating them in school was a no-brainer. I know mine thrive being separated and are stronger for it. It will be interesting when my big girls go to middle school next year to see if they will get in any of the same classes.
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